


First Time

by AryaNoName (merrymegtargaryen)



Series: Westeros Academy [9]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-02
Updated: 2014-01-02
Packaged: 2018-01-07 03:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1115065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merrymegtargaryen/pseuds/AryaNoName
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Christmas gift for emmanatrix. Sansa wants her first time with Podrick to be perfect. Too bad she keeps getting bad advice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First Time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [judypoovey](https://archiveofourown.org/users/judypoovey/gifts).



“Are you all right?” Podrick asked, shutting his bedroom door. Not that he needed to; Brienne wasn’t home. Sansa was grateful nevertheless; there was something unsettling about having the house hear their private moments. “You look nervous.”

Sansa waited until he was sitting on the bed beside her. “Podrick, we’ve been together for a while now.”

“Well, yes,” he said, blinking.

She took a deep breath. “I think…I think I’m ready for…” How did she say this without sounding like a bad movie? “I think I’m ready for, you know…the next step.” When he stared at her, she whispered, “Sex.”

“Oh. Oh.” Podrick turned tomato-red. “Well, that’s, um…yeah, me too.”

“I…well, not right now,” Sansa said, suddenly panicked. 

“Oh, definitely not,” he agreed, turning even redder.

“It needs to be special,” said Sansa. “Not just special, but perfect.”

.

The only problem was that Sansa had no idea what she was doing.

She had fooled around with Pod, of course (or as much as she could what with her family being the Starks and Jeyne Poole being her roommate), and she knew more than she really wanted to from Jeyne, but she didn’t really and actually know what she was doing. Well, all right, she was fairly certain she knew what she was doing, but there was always the off-chance she would completely and irrevocably mess up and everything would be ruined forever.

So she sought out advice from her best friend.

After Jeyne finished screaming in excitement, she jumped onto Sansa’s bed and leaned in. “The first time you have sex is fucking magical, Sansa. You have to treasure this moment forever.”

“I will,” Sansa vowed. 

“So you need to pull all the stops, because boys aren’t romantic,” Jeyne sighed. “You need rose petals, scented candles, all the works.”

“Rose petals?” Sansa asked uncertainly. “Isn’t that a bit, you know…corny?”

“Have you ever made love amongst rose petals?” Jeyne asked in a very dignified voice for someone who was demanding Sansa’s virginity be lost amongst rose petals. “It is the most luxurious feeling. And scented candles can be a wonderful aphrodisiac. Trust me, Sansa.”

Well, it couldn’t hurt.

“Oh, and lingerie,” said Jeyne excitedly. “Wear sexy lingerie.”

.

They waited for a night when Brienne would be gone and they would have the house to themselves (it would have been impossible to try such a thing in the Stark house). Sansa scattered rose petals all over the bed and the floor and lit the hundreds of scented candles she had bought with Jeyne. She even put on a CD that, according to the cover, was the perfect mood-setter. The final touch was removing her clothes to reveal the lacy blue lingerie Jeyne had insisted she buy. 

It all started out very nicely, with Podrick kissing her and then growing a bit bolder. Their clothes came off piece by piece until they were in nothing but their underwear. Podrick leaned down and, much to Sansa’s surprise, took her underwear in his mouth and began to pull it off of her. It was very sexy, until he got it stuck around her knees. He muttered something about “never taking advice from Bronn again” and pulled it all the way off. Sansa fought to remain calm and poised as Podrick put on the condom—this was it. This was the moment.

“I love you so much,” Podrick murmured, touching her hair.

Sansa was about to reply that she loved him too when something caught her eye. “Your curtains!” she shouted, forgetting about their magical moment. “They’re on fire!”

Podrick jumped out of bed and beat the curtains while Sansa blew out the scented candles that had caused the fire. It took so long and had been such a frightening interruption that the mood was ruined.

“Maybe we can try another time,” Sansa said miserably. 

.

Since Jeyne Poole’s advice had turned out to be less than helpful, Sansa turned to another Jeyne—her brother’s girlfriend.

Jeyne Westerling had always been the older sister Sansa never had, and Sansa knew she could rely on the older girl without worrying about ill advice or Jeyne tattling to Robb or any of the other Starks.

“Well, the scented candles were going a bit far, I think,” Jeyne said after Sansa had related her failed attempt at having sex. “And the rose petals. And, well, maybe the lingerie.” Jeyne sipped her iced mocha. “No, you can be romantic and simple.” She paused. “You know, Daenerys Targaryen says that the Dothraki believe that all significant events of a man’s life happen under the open sky.” She gave Sansa a sly smile. 

“Outside?” Sansa asked doubtfully. “Isn’t that a little, you know…outside?”

“Drive out to an isolated area where you know people won’t walk in on you. Just imagine, your first time under the stars?”

Sansa considered. It did sound romantic. And there was certainly no risk of anything catching on fire.

.

They waited until the full moon to head out in Pod’s Subaru. He knew of a mostly isolated spot near the lake, which made it even more romantic to Sansa; under the stars and beside the water. They parked the car and walked down a deer path until they found a clearing close to the water. They laid down a blanket and settled down, grateful that they had chosen such a bright night. They started slow, kissing and giggling. Their shoes and shirts came off, and that was when the trouble started.

Sansa scratched at her arm—and then her leg, her hip, her face, everywhere.

“Are you all right?” Podrick asked, pulling back.

“Yes, it’s just these bugs,” she said, slapping one off her arm.

“Yeah, they’re everywhere,” Podrick agreed, swiping at a cloud of gnats. “Seven, they’re not going away.”

“What do they think I am, a free blood bank?” Sansa complained.

“I think they’re getting worse,” said Podrick.

“They’re telling all their friends. Oh, get off!” Sansa grabbed her shirt and pulled it back on. “Pod, maybe we should—get off!—head back…”

By the time they reached the car, they were covered from head to toe in bug bites.

“What happened to you?” Ned asked when Sansa came home.

She was too itchy to be embarrassed. “Nothing.” And she stormed up the stairs.

.

It was time to bring out the big guns. Sansa turned to the only other girl she knew of for advice—Ygritte. The redhead had had a lot of sex—that made her qualified, right?

“Just go for it,” she said, furiously hitting a button on her controller.

“What do you mean?” Sansa asked.

“Just, you know, go for it.” Ygritte’s character savagely bludgeoned another character and then collected a book (Sansa didn’t really understand video games). “Get him alone—or don’t—and just, you know, jump on him and do your thing.”

“That doesn’t sound very romantic,” Sansa protested in a small voice.

“Yeah? And where has romance gotten you so far?” Ygritte wanted to know.

Sansa thought back to the curtains catching on fire and the bugs eating them alive.

“That’s what I thought,” said Ygritte in a satisfied tone. “Just go for it.”

It wasn’t the worst advice. But it wasn’t very good advice, either.

Sansa managed to get Podrick alone in her room when her family was either out or watching a movie downstairs—even then, she knew it was only a matter of time before someone butted in, so she shimmied out of her clothes and, taking a deep breath, pounced on Podrick in what she hoped was a sexy way.

It wasn’t.

Her head butted his face and Podrick yelped in pain; he accidentally knocked her off of him as he slapped a hand over his eye.

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” Sansa wailed. “Here, let me see it.”

Podrick removed his hand to reveal the beginnings of a black eye.

.

Sansa quite gave up after that. Maybe, she thought wistfully, she just wasn’t meant to have sex with Podrick. Maybe this was the gods’ way of telling her that she should wait until marriage or something.

A few weeks passed, during which Sansa and Podrick made no further attempts. It frustrated Sansa, and she was fairly certain that it frustrated Podrick too, but he was too nice to say anything about it. 

Arya had to go to the gynecologist one morning and Catelyn made Sansa drive her. Afterward, they went to Starbucks, where Arya complained about the gynecologist for a while.

“Arya, you and Gendry…you have, um, sex. A lot. Right?” Sansa squeaked.

Arya slurped up the remains of her coffee. “Yeah, and?”

Sansa was starting to wish she hadn’t brought this up in the middle of a popular coffee shop. “It’s just…Pod and I…”

Arya’s eyes widened. “You and Pod did the frick-frack?” she asked excitedly.

“No, and don’t call it that!” Sansa hissed, looking around for eavesdroppers. “Well, we…we’ve tried, but…”

“How do you try to have sex?” Arya snorted. Then she looked sympathetic. “Oh, can he not get it up?”

“What? No, he can!” Sansa wanted to die. “It’s just…well, every time we’ve tried, something goes wrong.”

“Like…?”

“Like his curtains catch on fire or we get eaten by bugs or I give him a black eye,” Sansa sighed.

Arya laughed. “Well, you’re not doing it right, clearly.”

“How do you do it, though?” Sansa begged.

“You just let it happen,” Arya said simply. “You just do whatever you normally do when you’re together and don’t stop yourselves. Just let things happen.”

“Is that how you did it with Gendry?” Sansa asked. She immediately wondered if she really wanted to know about her younger sister’s sex life.

Arya shrugged. “Pretty much. We weren’t planning anything. One minute we were making out and the next we were like, well, why not.”

The candidness with which Arya appeared to have approached her first time was appalling; but Sansa couldn’t help noticing that it had certainly worked. 

“And nothing went wrong?” Sansa asked before she could stop herself.

“I mean, he almost got the condom stuck when he was trying to put it on, but that was about it.” Arya watched Sansa. “You don’t have to make it a big deal. Everyone always wants you to think your first time is special and magical but actually you’re sweating all over each other and it hurts to walk the next day. And nobody ever comes the first time.” She turned around and threw her napkin at a teenage boy sitting at the table behind them. “IT’S RUDE TO EAVESDROP!” She turned back to Sansa. “Just treat it like any other time you’re with him, okay? It hasn’t worked yet because you’re trying to make it bigger than it really is. It’s just another day.”

This went against everything Sansa had ever read or heard. It was supposed to be special and there were supposed to be fireworks.

But every time she’d tried to make it special, it never happened and there were never any fireworks.

Maybe Arya was smarter than Sansa gave her credit for.

.

Arya was right.

Afterward, they wrapped themselves up in Podrick’s sheets and listened to the buzz of the lawnmower outside. 

“See?” Podrick said sleepily, his eyes already closed. “We did it. And we didn’t even get injured.”

“Well, there was some bloodshed,” Sansa reminded him quietly.

Podrick’s eyes shot open. “We have to get these sheets in the washer.” He stood up—but his foot caught in the sheets and he fell on his face with a sickening crack. “I boge too boon. I dink gy nose is brogen.”


End file.
